We talk so much about learning and growing, but often, in social gatherings like corporate set up, friends & family get together, people may discriminate against you. Bias, discrimination, envy & exclusion are ugly experiences, however, to move forward without letting it impact your mental health is a big challenge. Life is too short to learn from your own experiences, hence, you learn from people around you. Based on different situations, you are either oppressed or oppressor, either ways; you need to read the reflections based on 2 categories:
- If someone wronged you:
Instead of asking “why me”? “How am I going to get over this?” “It’s unfair!” pause and think more in terms of “what am I learning” “what should be my take away” & “it’s unfortunate but the problem lies elsewhere”. Another unhealthy habit of dealing with the situation is to seek answers, making assumptions which results in nothing but anxiety. When you change your thought process from “poor me” to “life lesson”: firstly, you accept things, distance people/situations, who/which are toxic for your mental health & you stop finding answers & making assumptions. This process will free you from anxiety, give you clarity & help let go of the experience. Fixating on the issue will be of no help, the longer you hold on, the more difficult it gets.You are not a tree, move!
- If you ever hurt anyone:
A lot of times, good people do bad things, they realize what went wrong, regret, apologize wholeheartedly, live rest of their lives in guilt & self loathing. Besides the guilt, the society is not very much supportive because every Tom, Dick & Harry will remember your 1 mistake, even after 50 years and make you feel bad about it. Relax guy, always remember, we hate the deed, not the one who did it right?
Now you are trying to fix things & the situation isn’t in your control anymore – you may lose a job, a friend or a relationship but you don’t punish yourselves for the rest of your life.
Your humility, realization, wholehearted apology & intention to do good shows you are capable of good. You learn from the experience. You START fresh & you don’t wrong anyone. We are human, we make mistakes, but we also learn & evolve. 🙂
Be kind, empathetic & always try to put yourself in another person’s shoe! What is humanity if we can’t be a human? You can increase your EQ by spending some time pondering over experiences you encounter or stories you read. I leave you here with:
“Give the respect you want to receive; embody the grace you hope to encounter, and help others with no expectations whatsoever.”