People have different attachments in life which makes them happy, for example: materialism, fame, fashion, gadgets etc. But in my case its people, people I call home. Home is where we laugh more, frown less, tough times feel easy, birthday bashes are unpredictable (OMG WE ARE SO BIG ON CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS!!!!), festivals and weekends are much awaited. How cool and comfortable life is at home 🙂
But things change, right? We all grow up, life changes & these people I call home, left the country one after another for GOOD (thankfully). My sister is my soulmate, we always spent time together, like things glued together using the strongest adhesive on earth. & when she moved out, for not being able to meet her everyday or live my life away from her was unimaginably hard. What happens when you tear apart things glued together? Anyway, After she left, I made new friends & i started to hang out with my BFF from childhood. Again, we spent so much time together, we were inseparable; lived together, studied together, worked out together. Together, we became chai-rasis (she got me addicted to chai & harry potter). But again! She left the country (for good, thankfully!!!).
And after 2 of my very best people moving away & many other friends who got busy with their own life – something changed. While I was busy with work & excited for their new journeys, I felt a void. Life wasn’t the same, from being cherished and celebrated, I had literally no one to speak with. I was habituated to do everything with friends, right? Doing things alone like going out, working out was painful, I was home sick.
That’s when I learn my biggest weakness, my dependency. A wise man from “A song of Ice & Fire” series said:
Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones.
My dependency on people & need to make meaningful connections became the center of my happiness which in turn made me vulnerable. No matter how many people I met, dear zindagi got them busy with their own stuff, leaving me alone & disappointed. In these moments of vulnerability, I realized, people can bring you joy, but shouldn’t be the center of it. If you make people the key to your happiness & rely upon them, you are going to be disappointed. My awakening gave me strength to liberate myself from the dependency. Do I like meaningful conversation & friendships? Yes! But do I know put them in the center of my happiness? No.
How can all these temporary attachments, being ephemeral bring you joy? The only source of your happiness should be the one who is perfect & never disappoints, yes, the Almighty! Rely only upon your creator, BE REAL & TRUE TO YOURSELF, show gratitude to all the beautiful people in your life through kind words & appreciation. I leave you here with:
“How do I structure my life to be at peace with who I am, & comfortable with what I’m doing & not doing?”
― Elizabeth Grace Saunders
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